1- Feel Good

Happiness is fun and it feels good. That is a worthwhile reason why happiness is important all by itself.

2- Live Longer

Many studies have shown that happy people live longer. One study followed nuns who wrote a short biographical sketch before taking their vows. At the age of 85, 90% of the nuns with cheerful biographies (top 25%) was still alive, compared to just 54% of the least cheerful. At 94 years of age, 54% of the most cheerful quarter were alive compared to only 11% of the least cheerful. Many other studies have shown similar results.

3- Have Better Health

Another reason why happiness is important is that the link between stress and illness is very well known and well documented, as is the reverse. Happy, positive feelings change the chemical make up of our bodies, producing chemicals that enhance immunity, cell repair, and building strength. Happiness is the opposite of stress.

4- Bounce Back Faster

Happiness and optimism go together. Optimistic people see bad things as temporary and good things as permanent. Their positive expectation of good things helps them see and act on options and opportunities faster. There is a saying, you get what you look for. Optimists look for opportunities for a good outcome.

5- Are More Likely to Be Romantically Involved

Study after study shows that happy people are more likely to be married, romantically involved and have multiple close friendships. Scientists have struggled with whether being happy makes you more attractive or more likely to get married or getting married makes you happier. It seems both may be true. Happier people are more attractive and being happier makes you more likely to be attracted to someone else.

6- Solve Problems Better and Faster

Many studies have shown that people who are in a positive or happy mood solve problems better and faster. Their solutions are more inventive and they concentrate better. Happiness also improves people’s ability to learn and remember things. Better problem solving is another reason why happiness is important.

7- Look for the Win-Win

Scientists theorize that our positive emotions, like happiness, serve an evolutionary purpose. Where negative emotions spur us to fight or flight by generating chemicals in our bodies, positive emotions spur us to learn, explore and grow the same way. In short, positive emotions create a completely different way of thinking in our bodies.

8- Are Not Violent

When you hear about the last few days of a killer’s life people they never say, he seemed so happy. Happy people want to make love more than they want to make war. The physiological state caused by happiness helps happy people see the win-win solutions and be drawn to avoid conflict.

9- Are More Likely to Help Others

There is a strong link between feeling good and doing good. Not only does doing good help us feel good, but studies have shown that happy people are more willing to share their good fortune to help others than unhappy people. Happy people make the world a better place.

10- Are Lucky

Our final reason why happiness is important come from studies that show happy people are luckier. There seem to be several factors that contribute to this. First, happy people are optimistic. Then tend to see opportunity more frequently and they are more likely to make lemonade when life gives them lemons.
Perhaps less obvious is the link between luck and virtue. Almost every culture and religion respects happiness or the behaviors that happy people exhibit. In an extensive study of all the worlds religions, the VIA Inventory of Virtues and Strengths, found six core virtues common to all major religions and cultures. They are:

• Wisdom and Knowledge
• Love and Humanity
• Courage
• Justice
• Temperance
• Spirituality and Transcendence

Exercising any one of these virtues usually causes happiness either mindfully or through flow. When we respect and admire someone, as we do with people who are good, we unconsciously give them breaks and the benefit of the doubt- contributing to luck.
So happy people are often respected for their virtue and they are more likely to find good outcomes when bad things happen. Truly, happy people are blessed with good luck.

I wrote this article to convince myself (and others like myself), who have often been on the receiving end of hurts, mostly emotional, from people whom I have known through the years (who may or may not be my friends) that there are definitely reasons or nuances of sound logic why people hurt others, deliberately or not. Call it my way of putting things into perspective, to know where people are coming from, to discern what prompts them into doing something offensive to a fellow human being, to understand them, and finally, to forgive them. After much contemplation, I came up with five reasons on why people tend to hurt (physically or otherwise) others: they do it for kicks, they do it for vengeance, they get manipulated to do it, they don’t actually know they’re hurting others, and lastly, because others allow them to do the hurting.

Some people hurt others for kicks. Really, there are people who experience a sense of euphoria when they inflict pain on others; they derive pleasure from other people’s sufferings. I’m just about finished with Arlene J. Chai’s book, Eating Fire and Drinking Water. A certain character in that book caught my attention; his name is Aure, a military colonel tasked with quelling terrorism in the South (Note: South here refers to the terrorist-infected southern part of the Philippines). This Aure is a man that belied his calm demeanor, for underneath the mask is an animal that unleashes his claws to torment his victims with the most horrid things imaginable (cutting a flesh here, scooping an eyeball there). And this he does in the full feeling and seeing of his preys; they are being mutilated alive. What can I say to such people? None. No one can change their convoluted minds, so I wouldn’t even try.

Some people maliciously hurt others as an act of vengeance . This, I think, is the most logical reason behind the need to cause others to suffer – to get even for some reasons, real or imagined. I hope that people who wreaked physical or emotional wounds on others have found a valid reason to do so and not do the hurting solely on the basis of some made-up thoughts or impressions concocted by malicious minds; otherwise, the premeditated “hurting” only becomes a channel for venting one’s hang-ups or grudges on the wrong party. To those who say, “Vengeance is mine,” you can learn a thing or two from Mahatma Mohandas K. Gandhi when he says, “An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.” Don’t harbor ill will, throw it out. You’re better off without any excess baggage. Go light. Be happy.

Some people get manipulated to hurt others. People come in different shapes and sizes. There are the “dictator” types who think that they own people and that they could impose on them. Trailing behind are the “puppets” who seem to have no mind of their own, allowing others to decide for them, never questioning the dictator’s intentions. To those who dictate upon others, may you be filled with enough cunning so that those you dictate upon won’t be able to discern the real score, because if they do, you might one day end up all by your lonesome self. And to the puppets, wake up, you’re human beings with free reins on your thoughts and actions. Must you totally abandon the dictates of your own conscience just to give in to another person’s every whim, however absurd? Remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others what you want others do unto you.” I suppose you don’t want to be hurt yourself.

Some people are oblivious to the fact that they’re hurting others. Call it lack of sensitivity, if you must, but some people can be tactless sometimes they hurt others without really meaning to. The hurting may come in the form of a seemingly trivial comment, a broken promise, a missed appointment, even simple acts of courtesy that might have been overlooked for whatever reason. Enemies can hurt you, but sometimes friends and loved ones can hurt you more. Why? Because you love them, that’s why. And you expect much from them. What do I say to those who don’t know they’re hurting others? Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes; never assume that the other person always understands. S/he may be in one of those wake-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed days or may be particularly feeling down and out, you may be rubbing salt to her/his wounds, making it all the more unbearable. For whatever it’s worth, learn to patch up your differences. It won’t hurt to say, “I’m sorry.”

Some people allow others to hurt them. Though it’s hard to admit, we’re sometimes responsible for how people treat us. In order to live harmoniously with others, we sometimes willingly give in and allow others to have their way, letting stale comments and little acts of discourtesy pass, without so much as giving a thought to them. Unfortunately, the very act of giving and understanding and making lame excuses for how others behave (or misbehave) toward us sends the wrong signal – that they (the misbehaving crowd) can get away with everything, and again, because we seem to be okay with what they do; it doesn’t seem to annoy us one bit, although the truth of the matter is, we’re fuming mad we’re just not showing it. We bear all of the other party’s blows up to the point where we can bear no more. Sooner or later, we’ll explode and there’s no turning back on angry words thrown at each other, forever burning the bridges that had once been witness to good relationships. How do we guard ourselves then from getting hurt? Learn not to be nice all the time; you’re prone to abuse. Give the other party a piece of your mind and heart; don’t let others trample on your pride and dignity, because in the end that’s what you will have left.

The acts of hurting and getting hurt are but parcels of our human existence. Each of us inevitably gets hurt one way or the other, and there’s no escaping that stark reality. We invariably cause other people’s pains and sufferings, too, by mere thoughts, words, or actions, however we deny it. Whether the hurting was done just for kicks or vengeance, out of sheer manipulation or mere insensitivity, or because there are willing victims, it’s not really the beatings we received that matter, but how we deal with those hurts. We can accept each whack in the back nonchalantly or make our indignations heard. We can own up to our faults – if we’re to be honest about it – that we deserve what we’re getting or we can justify our ill treatment of others. Whatever – different folks, different strokes. The morale of the story is: No matter how harshly others treat us, we must not lose sight of what it’s like to live without resentment in our hearts. We may not always forget, but we can always forgive those who have wronged us. Continue to believe that there’s an inherent good in all of us, that there’s no such thing as people born bad, and that there’s still hope for humanity.

Here we are in the world
Stressed by every thing we meet
But you know what close at hand?
Help is only a question away.

We sit and fret all by ourselves
Never wanting to burden others
But if only we asked just four words
The relief we seek is there.

What could those four little words be?
There not a curse but could be a blessing
All you have to ask a friend
“Can you help me?”

Trials in this life are hard enough
when bared by only one shoulder
But they can be made so much lighter
when two shoulders carry them together!

So all I am saying with all these words
I am so sorry that life is such a burden
But also remember I’m not far away
Just ask and I’ll help you along the way!

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